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How People Change: A Conference January 23-25 in Jacksonville, FL

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This January 23 – 25, Paramount Church in Jacksonville, FL is having a conference on “How People Change” with Tim Lane.

My friend John Fonville is the preaching pastor at Paramount, which is hosting the conference. John is one of my favorite preachers in the whole world because of his relentless gospel-centeredness.

I am excited about the work that their church is doing (you can check out their website to learn more). This conference would be a great opportunity to both experience the great work they are doing there and learn about how to create lasting change in your life.

Here is the description of the conference:

What does it take for lasting change to take root in your life? If you’ve ever tried, failed, and wondered why, you need to come to How People Change. Tim Lane will show us the biblical pattern for change in a clear, practical way you can apply to the challenges of daily life. But change involves more than a biblical formula: you will see how God is at work to make you the person you were created to be. That powerful, loving, redemptive relationship is at the heart of all positive change you experience.

The conference includes five sessions with Dr. Lane: two sessions Friday night, and three on Saturday morning. Each session is followed by Q&A time where you will be able to ask Dr. Lane your questions.

Learn more and register at the website.

Bad Advice is a Christian Art Form

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That’s what Ed Welch says in his helpful, short article Offer Advice Carefully. And he’s absolutely right.

Why are we so bad as Christians at giving advice? I have my thoughts, but the best thing to do about it is this: stop thinking we know everything about another person’s situation, and realize that when something isn’t a matter of explicit and clear biblical commands, advice is to be offered as an interchange that respects the person’s individuality and more detailed grasp of the situation.

One mark of bad advice, Welch notes, is that it is dispensed “quickly and casually.” Here are three examples he gives that I think most of us have encountered (and been incredibly annoyed by, even though they seem “spiritual” at first; Welch shows why they are not):

  • You just need to trust God. This advice sounds biblical, but the word “just” shows that it is tossed out as a platitude. The person might already be trusting God, it sounds superior—it is bad advice.

  • You need to forgive the person. This too seems to be a biblical exhortation, but it does not have the humility to realize that there are other biblical themes about God’s compassion or his stand against injustice that might be more relevant. Better to say, “I think that we should talk about forgiving this person, but Scripture says a lot to us when we have been hurt. What do you think are God’s good words to you now?”

  • You need to tell your boss what is bothering you or take it to a superior. This is bad advice because it never took the time to listen and recognize that the person was not asking for advice, but she was hoping to have a friend with whom she could share her struggles. This advice comes from the notorious “let me fix you and move on to someone else” school of advice.

Fantastic examples. Then he adds:

My point is not that it is wrong to give advice. It is that in our haste and casual handling of Scripture, we confuse our advice with “God has said . . . .” This can be disrespectful because we’ve offered a blanket statement without much thought to the particulars involved. Or maybe the person was not even seeking advice but only someone to listen. We need to be sure we know what the person is asking for before we start talking.

Read the whole thing.

An Interview with Malcolm Gladwell on His New Book, David and Goliath

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Catalyst interviews Malcolm Gladwell on David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, his new book.

Gladwell’s answer to this question sums up his aim in the book:

What do you want people to take away from David and Goliath?
I want people to understand that much of what is beautiful and important in our world comes from adversity and struggle.

Read the whole thing.

"But He's Not My Neighbor"

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It seems to me that we have, perhaps, inadvertently reversed the parable of the Good Samaritan.

Jesus’ point in the parable is that our neighbor is anyone in need. In order to make this point clear, he tells the story of the Samaritan coming across a man who was beaten and robbed. Even though this man was culturally his enemy, he takes action and helps.

Jesus’ point is: don’t let yourself off the hook of the command to love your neighbor as yourself by limiting it only to a narrow group of people. Love even your enemies, do this sacrificially (as the Samaritan did), and be willing to risk (as it was a dangerous road).

I think precisely because of this parable, few people in the world who are familiar with the teaching of Jesus would be callous enough to walk by a person bleeding on the side of the road. Or, if they did, they would know it was deeply wrong (unlike the religious people in the parable, who apparently didn’t even get that).

But that’s only half the point. In fact, I would suggest if that’s all we get from the parable, we’ve totally missed the point — even if when presented with the exact circumstances of the parable, we would stop to help.

The reason is this: we don’t very often come across people who are bleeding on the side of the road. So how does the parable apply to us the rest of the time?

I think we’ve inadvertently taken the parable and restricted the meaning of our “neighbor” in the other direction, thus doing the very thing Jesus is forbidding. We’ve come to think that our neighbor is only a person in extreme need — the person bleeding on the side of the road.

But what about the person who is not bleeding on the side of the road, but has other, much smaller but still very real needs?

We tend to just pass on by. “He’s not my neighbor — my neighbor is the person bleeding on the side of the road.” And yet it never crosses our mind to say, “Hmm…; isn’t it strange that I’ve never actually come across such a person in my entire life?”

Jesus told this parable to teach us something that is to apply to us every single day of our lives. He gave an extreme example to counter the common notion of the day that limited the scope of who we are to love. But then we’ve strangely seized on the example he gave and limited the meaning of “neighbor” in an entirely different direction, to mean only those in extreme need. That was not Jesus point.

Overlooking seemingly “small,” everyday, and ordinary needs is also a great sin. Your neighbor is not just the person in extreme need, but the person right before you at work, in your neighborhood, in your community. Your client, business partner, employee, co-worker, person who comes off the street into your business asking for directions, or person who attends your church and has a concern. Anyone and everyone who has any need is your neighbor.

If you think you’ve got it together because you don’t pass by people who are beaten up on the side of the road, but overlook issues of everyday need in the people right before you, you are missing it.

And don’t we all need to hear this? I know I do.

So, let’s get with it. Let’s about the world with our eyes and ears open to seek out, identify, and meet all types of needs that the people have whom God brings across our paths. Let’s ditch this notion that our neighbor is only someone in extreme need. Let’s be proactive in meeting less extreme needs as well.

And, as we do that, then we will be truly obeying the point of the parable, even if we never literally come across someone beaten up and bleeding on the side of the road.

And, we just might come to see that this seemingly “small” needs aren’t quite so small after all.

Chuck Colson Resource Page

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The Acton Institute has put together a resource page on Chuck Colson. They write:

From the earliest days of the Acton Institute, Charles W. “Chuck” Colson was a staunch supporter and dear friend to many. On this page, we have gathered a variety of content including speeches, interviews with Acton publications and multimedia. As Prison Fellowship Ministries and the Colson Center put it, in a joint statement,  “Chuck’s life is a testimony to God’s power to forgive, redeem, and transform.”

The page also has an excellent, 8.5 minute video the Acton Institute did on the life of Chuck Colson.

Thankful for Chuck Colson

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Ed Stetzer has good reflections on his life, and Sarah Pulliam Bailey has written a good obituary at Christianity Today.

Here’s part of it:

Before his conversion to Christianity, Colson was described as an aggressive political mastermind who drank heavily, chain smoked, and smeared opponents. He served as special counsel to President Richard Nixon from 1969 to 1973 before he was indicted on Watergate-related charges, which led to a 7-month prison term. After his conversion experience, he published Born Again, helping popularize the term many evangelicals use to self-identify.

Colson’s public commitment to his faith drew initial skepticism from those who wondered whether he was attempting to profit from a conversion narrative. Criticism faded over time with his 30-plus years of commitment to prison ministry.

“The most important takeaway is that he was a specimen of God’s amazing grace, one of the most remarkable in modern times,” said Timothy George, dean of Beeson Divinity School at Samford University. “Over time, he proved to the whole world that this is the real thing.”

Where I Disagree with the Total Money Makeover

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I recently thumbed through Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover book a bit while I was at Kinko’s printing off a large document. I didn’t read a ton, and there are many helpful things in there, to be sure. Further, Dave Ramsey has a very good ministry and is doing a great service.

But here’s something that doesn’t resonate with me. Quite often he would exhort people to save money and avoid debt by appealing to the fact that millionaires are frugal and avoid debt. “Millionaires don’t drive new cars — that’s how they became millionaires.”

The problem is that I don’t want to be a millionaire. That whole concept feels empty to me — “live like no one else now so you can live like no one else then.” I’m just not interested in that. I don’t want to make financially conservative decisions in order to build my own wealth.

What I’m interested in is helping people, seeking to do good, seeking to share, and being “hazardously liberal,” to use a phrase from John Piper, in serving others. Frugality put in the service of generosity — that’s a decent aim.

I’m sure Dave Ramsey would agree. When he refers to millionaires, he isn’t advocating that we should want to be one, but probably appealing to the fact that many people do. He’s not saying it’s good; he’s just acknowledging a desire many in society have, and appealing to it without approving it.

Still, I think it would be better to make clear that the aim in frugality (which I’m not convinced is a biblical virtue) is to serve others. That’s not only a more exciting life; it also keeps us from the trap of superficial frugality where we sacrifice the good of others in the name of financially conservative efficiency.

The Christian Ethic

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Jonathan Edwards:

Let us, to this end [that is, of love], be willing to do, or give, or suffer, that we may do good alike to friends and enemies, to the evil and the good, to the thankful and the unthankful.

Let our benevolence and beneficence be universal, constant, free, habitual, and according to our opportunities and ability, for this is essential to true piety, and required by the commands of God.

This is an incredible statement. Note a few things.

First, we are to do good universally. That is, we are not to show partiality, but are to do good for those who have something to offer us and those that don’t, the “great” and the “small,” in biblical terms.

Second, this includes our enemies as well as our friends, those who appreciate what we do and those who don’t, those who are out to wreck the world as well as those who are out to change it.

Third, we are to do good constantly. Doing good is not to be a rare thing we do every few months. It is to be the steady employment of the Christian.

Fourth, we are to do good freely. That is, without thought of return, and from delight and a spirit of joy. We are not to act under constraint, but because we want to.

Fifth, we are to do good according to our opportunities and ability. Which means we are to maximize our opportunities and talents and resources for the good of others. We aren’t called to serve people with what we don’t have, but very often we can do far more than we think. Further, we are to even suffer in the way of doing good for others. In other words, if we construe the need to stay within our abilities and opportunities to mean “don’t sacrifice,” we’ve misunderstood.

Seventh, this is not optional. It is “essential to true piety.” We cannot say that we love God if we are not diligently and proactively and freely and habitually seeking to serve and do good for others. This is the mark of a Christian.

This is worth emphasizing, because it’s easy to fall into the trap of simply praying for others when we see them in need. When you have the ability to help, simply saying that you will pray but not actually helping is akin to saying “be warm and be filled” and then moving on (James 2:14-17). Further, prayer is not by itself a mark of a true relationship with God (Matthew 6:5-8). It is possible to be a person who prays all the time and yet doesn’t lift a finger to concretely, practically help others (Matthew 23:4-7). God is not impressed with such people. Prayer is essential and critical (Matthew 6:9-15), but without an active disposition to do good for others, it is not a mark of a true and living relationship with God.

So, in conclusion: this is not optional! Let us be universal, constant, free, joyful, habitual, proactive, and energetic in doing good for others, without restraint or discrimination, for the glory of God.